How to Convince a Resistant Elder to Attend Adult Day Care

If you genuinely think that adult day care is an excellent fit for both you and your family, it's time to talk to your parent about it. The most difficult challenge in these discussions is making adult day care appear to be a fun and welcoming environment instead of an intimidating one that challenges your parent's independence. Here are a few things to do if your elderly parent refuses to accept assisted living or caregiving services.

Avoid using the term "daycare" to describe an adult day program. For many seniors, it has a bad image and can make them feel like they can no longer be left alone or care for themselves. A mature adult with years of experience would not want to be told that they require the services of a babysitter. Instead, consider different terms such as “program” or the “center”.

First, consult with siblings/family. Discuss the situation ahead of time to ensure that everybody is on the same page. This will reduce tension and disagreements.
Don't push it. Avoid making your parents feel pressed. This discussion may need to take place multiple times over the period of several weeks, months, or even years.
Reframe the advantages. Many seniors consider assisted living to be a "give-up," but good facilities provide vibrant social communities, independence, peacefulness, and more time to enjoy life. Reassure your loved one of these advantages and how they can enhance their quality of life.
Give them authority. No adult wants to be told what to do. Instead, ask them how they would solve the problem. Inquire about their preferences and provide them with options.
Bring in some help. A neutral third party can sometimes defuse a charged situation. Consider having your loved one speak with a trusted physician, spiritual advisor, or counselor.
Express your emotions. Parents adore their children and do not want to be a burden to them. Share how it impacts you in a way that they can understand without blaming them. 
Make new friends. Are your parents' friends content in an assisted living facility? Finding a location with an interconnected network can be a game-changer.
Consider an interim solution. Consider in-home assistance first. If your parents don't like the idea, they might prefer the independence of a community.
Put trust and love first. The most crucial thing is to keep your connection with your parents intact.

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